This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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