Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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