am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
