Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
