you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
i out mim tonsoeep
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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