Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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