I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Randomize
