normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
We need a shit load of segways right now
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
