I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
