glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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