He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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