maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize
