the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
