weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Randomize
