ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
He keeps bees of course he's weird
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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