he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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