The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
