508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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