I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
