it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
