I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I love you.
Bad choice
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
