You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Randomize
