There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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