Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
