Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Randomize
