i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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