Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
