Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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