I'm really into asian looking animals
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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