so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Randomize
