Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
