More tranny stories later!
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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