doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
So many bounce houses so little time
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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