I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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