OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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