Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I see more hoeing in ur future
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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