Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
she pinky promised me she was 18
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize
