two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Randomize
