I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
