3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
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