I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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