Where is the hickey?
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
