I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Randomize
