u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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