Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
