i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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