yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
