She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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