Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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