my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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