its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
So much rum. So many feels.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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