OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize