she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize