well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
