I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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