..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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