i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
