Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize