I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
